A year ago I was in a dark place. It actually began months before, in the summer of ‘07. During the summer months I started to feel as if my depression medication was not working anymore. My doctor reluctantly scaled down my meds and remarkably I began to feel like myself again.
After a few months, things changed. Day by day, week by week, then month by month my mood sank. I fought hard along the way. I tried herbs, foods, exercise, even accupunture. Slowly all hope was gone. Within days I was filled with anger and grief for being back in the pit of despair.
Here’s an excerpt from my journal at that time:
Lord, I am depressed. Rescue me. Help me out of my darkness. I feel trapped, like there is no way out. I don’t even know how to describe where I’m at…
It didn’t take long for my family (300 miles away) to see the changes. Toward the end of a Christmas visit my father sat me down and recommended I seek help. He knew I would need something different than the normal psychiatrist visit. (you know the kind… how are you feeling?… try this medication… call me in 2 weeks…)
I had shared with my family about a specialized neurologist in my area who advised me to undergo a series of tests. But it would cost money. Lots of money. Money we didn’t have.
My dad said he would write a check for whatever I needed. Just GO GET HELP.
Now, without you knowing my father, you can’t appreciate the gravity of this moment in my life. However, that conversation was a turning point for me. (Thanks Dad – I love you.)
When I made my appointment for my EEG and SPECK I had no idea what to expect.
For both tests I needed to be mildly sleep deprived. I’m a night owl – no problem!
The problem comes, however, at 7am, when I need to drive myself 20 miles to The Neuroscience Center in a snow storm! (remember, I’m sleep deprived!)
The first test, an EEG, I sat in an office chair in the middle of a room. 
The doctor began to hook my head up to wires connected to a recording device. It looked something like this picture. The test started and I didn’t feel a thing. Within minutes I was asleep and that’s when the real work happened. I woke up to the doctor turning on the lights and removing wires stuck on my head with sticky gel.
The other test completed at The Neuroscience Center was a brain SPECK. Click on the link if you’d like to read more about the test. 
Quite honestly, I don’t have the medical background to give it the appropriate description! What I can tell you is it felt very similar to a MRI (which I also had as part of this battery of testing).
The SPECK test provided pictures of blood flow in my brain - where the brain works correctly and where it doesn’t. The EEG provided pictures of the electronic activity in my brain.
After all tests were completed (along with MRI and tons of blood work) my doctor informed me I had abnormal brain functioning. My response? ”Thank God!” Finally, something showed I wasn’t going crazy! These incredible tests were able to pinpoint the areas in the brain that needed specific help. Therefore my doctor knew exactly what kind of medication would work for me. Amazing!
Do you know that psychiatry is the ONLY profession that doesn’t perform tests on the in-operating part of the body to diagnose the problem? Think about it. Come up with ANY medical issue… there’s a medical test or some kind of diagnostic tool to help measure what is going wrong. Not with the traditional psychiatry. And most of us “consumers” in this field are frustrated.
That is why I am extremely happy to introduce you to this book: This is Your Brain on Joy.
The beauty of this book is that it combines the newest research in brain science, holistic practices, as well as spiritual health. Dr. Henslin is a Christian and actually devotes a whole chapter to the apostle Paul. Throughout the book Dr. Henslin writes in a friendly tone, and explains complex medical terms in every-day language.
Want more? Leave me a comment and I’ll give you more information on the specific area you are interested in.
For now, my brain is joyful (not that I don’t still have issues… I do). Happy Friday!
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Spending a week away from the big city gives one a glimpse into the amazing universe above. The star gazing at 
I opened up the door to grab milk for my cereal and saw the 3 week old blueberries sitting there lonely. After inspection (and finding no mold) I plopped as many as possible in my cereal bowl. A yummy addition.
Amy Grant used to be one of my favorite artists. I remember her early album called “Age to Age”. Even today I could sing any song word for word from that album.
