Do you ever feel like you’d prefer to give up your responsibilities in life?
- Can someone please clean up my office for me?
- Can someone else please take the laundry upstairs and put it away?
- Who can pick up my clothes that I’ve thrown all over the bedroom floor?
- Would anyone else like to pay the bills?
All which lead up to a couple of big questions:
- Can someone please be responsible for making me feel happy?
- Who will pour life into me when I feel too drained to get out of bed?
Depression, it hurts. ________ can help. Do you know that commercial? I do. And the commercial is right. It hurts. And it effects every part of your life. Your relationships, your family, your finances, your job, your responsibilities. For me, depression makes want to run away. I just don’t know where I’d run to. Maybe to my Mom and Dad’s. They’d shelter me for a while. But even they would soon except something out of me. Responsibilities stink. Depression smells.
I can relate to Paul, the writer of more than half of the letters in the New Testament. In II Corinthians 12: 7b-10 he says:
So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I too have asked God to take this away from me. I know there are many other prayer warriors who go before Christ on a daily basis who plead for me. Yet, I still struggle. (On a side note, please don’t worry. I’m OK. It’s just been a couple of gray depressive days. This is the joy of having depression. Some days the meds work, some days the meds aren’t enough.)
I hear God calling me. Shane, run to me. You are weary, I know. I understand. I can fill you. Let me pour my life into you. I can give you a taste of eternity. Your responsibilities won’t go away. But you will be left with a sweet smell of my love and life in you.
How’s your life smelling today?
Shane,
Love the honesty. You’re right — sometimes the meds just aren’t enough. I know for me at least, because I know what it is, I can just acknowledge and roll with it.
Grateful that we don’t take this journey alone. God is good.
Steph
So true. I think some days the medicine cannot keep up with the havoc of hormones. For real.
Shane, I don’t have this particular struggle like other do, but I have had depressing seasons in my life and circumstances. I love how you summarized it in this post.
Thank you for you honesty and for sharing what you hear the Lord speaking to you. That is so beautiful, and really applies to us all. Regardless of our circumstances, God knows we are weak; He made us that way so that we would be filled with Him!
Tired. That’s how it’s smelling. I seem to be having a lot of days like this lately. Thinking of you tonight.
peace~elaine
Shane,
The verse you quoted got me through a rough patch when my husband lost his job last year. For eight months, he had no work and we wondered why on earth God would allow this to happen to us on the edge of losing his only brother and my daughter moved across the country. It’s been a year, and finally now, I can see that light and a sprinkle of understanding why we went through what we did. But even during that time,although I had counseled people with depression for years–I finally saw and understood the realy weight of it. And like you–I wanted to run away from all of it but knew I couldn’t–I could only run deeper into God’s arms.
Been smelling lonely this week! My hubby is in Canada on business, and we are such a team! I really am ready for him to come home–I was ready on Monday when he left! His flight is tomorrow at lunch!
I will be lifting you up in prayer, sweet friend.
Love ya,
Susan
Shane, I’m behind on my blog reading, so I just read this post today … AFTER I wrote my post today, “The Great Depression” (http://purewells.blogspot.com/2008/10/great-depression.html).
I don’t know if you will find anything helpful in it or not, but check it out when you get a chance. (I worried about it a little, not wanting to alienate or offend anyone who has chemical/clinical depression). Let me know what you think …