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Have you ever revealed the truth to someone only to have it eventually hurt you? That’s the premise behind the opening chapter of Behind Those Eyes by Lisa Whittle.
When I first started unveiling the truth about my postpartum depression I was deeply hurt. I remembering disclosing parts of my story to a trusted friend (or so I thought). Can you guess what happened?
nothing.
absolutely nothing happened.
When we did talk, it was about nothing, or her own issues. She never once asked me how I was doing, how my treatment was going, or if I could use any help.
It really hurt me.
My hubby-preacher-boy and I have been on a mission to create a church environment where people can be REAL. A sanctuary of safety where people can reveal themselves and find hope. When one person shares their REAL-life story it opens a doorway for others to feel like they can do the same. Then one day, you turn around to realise you are a part of a REAL community where sinners can find rest for their weary souls.
In Behind Those Eyes, Lisa Whittle is on the same mission. This book will challenge you to get REAL with yourself and with God, and then maybe with others.
Lisa asks in her challenge question, What is your deepest soul craving? I believe for many women, we long to connect, we long to belong. Remember the TV show Cheers’ theme song? The words “Where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came.” ring true in my mind. Is that what you are after too?
Even though we might create a sanctuary of safety here on earth, it will fall short. We are all sinners on this foreign land. If we put our trust in people to fill our soul, we will be deeply disappointed.
The only place where all our needs can be met wholly and completely is in the arms of Jesus. Jesus desires truth in my soul, and replaces my failings with His wisdom (see Psalm 51:6). I need to ask Him to strip away my sin and reveal a sacred sanctuary where only He can reside.
Jesus said in John 8: 31-32 & 34-36:
If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
Are you ready for the truth? It might hurt a little, but it will certainly set you free!
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For more reflections on chapter one in Behind Those Eyes go to Write From the Heart.
The truth is often times painful for me, especially when it comes to learning about myself- ouch! But I have learned that running from it only prolongs the pain and delays the freedom. Thanks for sharing this, Shane. I look forward to hearing more about what the Lord is doing in your life.
Its the chastening that sets a son apart from a servant. Servants are corrected or punished. Often fired if they dont produce or do their job well. A son…his correction or chastening is from a different motive…and if we could ever SEE that…it would help us take our one on one talks with the Holy Spirit so much better. It hurts and never will cease to….but we could also take comfort in it because we are confident in His motive. Because we are sons (daughters). We belong in His family. Lord, help me remember i am a daughter. Even when it hurts. :)Great word today.
This was wonderful Shane. I sometimes think I am too real with how I feel but it’s who I am. I understand post-partum depression– went through it myself. As a whole, many people have difficulty asking the hard questions to others who are in pain. Thanks for the reminder that we need to do it anyway.
Beautiful and spoken from the heart. Keep serving HIM with an unveiled face…that is HIS desire for you!
Blessings and prayers,
Teri
What a beautiful, and heartfelt post!
I’m with you, especially in the body of Christ we need to foster an atmosphere for people to be real…honest…and open, regardless of their past, or present!
God’s tired of some many walking around with masks on, trying to be something, or someone they are not!!
Bless you as you work through this book. I know God’s going to do great things in my heart as I’m on this journey!!
Kim~
Awesome word Shane! I too want to be real. Isn’t is weird that of all places, the church lacks authenticity?? That is great that you & your husband are creating a real environment for your congregation. More churches need to follow in those footsteps.
I’m sorry that your friend didn’t respond to your hurts, but maybe God allowed you to endure that pain just for this purpose…to be so real that other women in pain can feel comfortable and safe coming to you.
What a blessing you are!
In Him,
Lelia
This is so good Shane…
Dealing with postpartum depression was what precipitated my finally getting help with the depression I have struggled with all my life.
I have been getting more and more of a heart for pursuing truth, and for trying to find a way to minister out of my hurt and heart and where I have been at.
Thank you for your transparency. And I am so glad that we are in this study together!
God bless, and I look forward to seeing the new stuff you have to say on the new chapters!
What a noble mission: To create a church where people can be real. Wow. What a concept! Kudos to you for starting by being a good example and sharing your struggles. Sometimes our friends just don’t know how to handle transparency, do they? It’s a sad fact that they’ve never learned how to be so open, and so are uncomfortable when others are. You keep being REAL, friend! I’m looking forward to this study!
I could feel your pain as you describe your “friend’s” reaction to you speaking truth and your heart. I had a similar situation. I expressed truth and had a the trial of my life to find abandonment by my “best friend” after six months. Now 15 months into the trial, she is no where to be found in my life. She got over “it”, so I should be over “it”. It being the trial in my life and currently still happening. Oh well. I guess, as I stated on my blog, trials do reveal those real friends. We will see those who really care and will endure for the long haul.
Blessings,
Paula
What a great post. I remember the first time a “Christian girl” that I went to a conference with mentioned that she suffered with depression… it was like the flood gate open up in my soul and I just let my struggle gush out. What a relief. That same topic has come up many times since then with others… why are we so afraid to talk about it?? I don’t hold that back anymore. Sometimes I get the same reaction that you got… other times I get a loving reaction.
I long to be real. I know that this study is going to be great.
Thanks so much for sharing,
Lynn
Love your heart, Shane, and share your passion to get real! Thank you for this post.
Lisa :)
Hi Shane,
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I love that you said your church is a “sanctuary of safety.” Our little church here in AZ is on the same page. Through our church’s Celebrate Recovery ministry, we have welcomed many ex-cons into our church family. Seeing those men who have been beaten down by life’s circumstances and their own poor choices changed from the inside out by God’s healing truth is majorly inspiring for a “secret prisoner” like me. Looking foward to knowing you better thru this study, Lee
It is about The Universal Law of Karma.
A wonderful post…keep up with the good work that you are doing…Tessa
Great post. I had post partum as well, and I lost two babies. it was a difficult time and it was really hard to find people who wanted to just listen to me. I’m not sure if people are uncomfortable with hearing people’s struggles or if they didn’t know how to help me so it was easier to just ignore it. Sounds like you have an amazing ministry. keep up the good work!
Our pastor always says that a church is like the hospital, it’s where sick people become healthy.
I’m looking forward to see what truth God is going to reveal to all of us.
Shane,
Great post. I agree, we all want to be accepted, and to know that we are free to be ourselves without being judged and found lacking. The safe place to land is all we are looking for.
Sallye
Shane,
I am sorry your friend wasn’t there when you needed her and also thankful that you and your husband are creating a church that is a “sanctuary of safety.” Every church should be that but unfortunately because church are filled with human’s that are “sinners saved by grace’ who sometimes forget that it is not for us to judge but God we aren’t.
Thank you for being real and I pray I can be a good listener by reading your blog as we travel this road God has set before us to find our true hearts within.
Shane, you spoke to my heart. I love that you have started a ministry where broken people are encouraged. My husband is involved in Recovery, and we have met some of the most authentic people there. It’s where God started working on my heart saying it’s okay to be real, everyone has shame and I love you all.
I’m looking forward to getting to know you and read more of your blog and posts. I’m so excited to be in this study.
Grace & Peace,
Carol
I loved your insight! And thank you for sharing your personal experience. I can only imagine how that must have hurt. But praise God you have used it to create something good!